Bereavement:

People usually take this to mean the loss by death of a loved one or a person you held in some regard.  As I write and as you read this people will die that you and I don't know and we feel no sense of loss.  Naturally were we to meet a relative who lost someone dear to them as this paper was being written or read we would feel sympathy and no doubt show kindness.  Nevertheless bereavement is about personal loss, usually a person but perhaps a dog/cat may trigger deep feeling of loss as well.

There is a well established pattern to bereavement.  Denial, Anger, Depression, Acceptance.   The process starts from first realisation of death.  The process above is just that, a process.  It is a trend.  So one may be in denial after some years or angry at the loss but the trend is to accept. 

People can feel loss with regard to many things.  Most obviously, family break up can induce feelings of loss perhaps more intense than the loss of a parent.  Particularly in countries that insist on sexually biased parenting orders.  Often successful people can become quite depressed at pinnacle of their business life/career.  Retirement  can cause dreadful feelings of loss. 

The process to acceptance seems to be mediated by the severity of the loss and the persons experience of loss and managing that loss effectively.  Perhaps it is no coincidence that highly successful business people uncommonly often lost one or both parents in their childhood.  Do they cope with the slings and arrows of business better as a result of managing a severe loss.

There is a trend at the moment to put in the Local Authority Psychological team at the first hint of a local tragedy.  Usually a child in school has died.  But if there is an airport or motorway within the council area there will be contingency plans to bring on the Psych team if a plane comes down or there is large multiple fatality road accident.  There is nothing wrong with this.  It may help some people and I am sure that it would do no harm.  However, most of the people affected will grieve and move on over time in a perfectly healthy way. 

Counselling comes in for those few individuals who do not move on.  They may become stuck on any phase, accept acceptance.  We have all come across people who can't mention a lost ones name.  The husband who keeps his departed wife's car on the drive and clothes in the wardrobe.  These are the people who need the help of psychologists or councilors.

The process needn't be long.  Often just a couple of sessions and the person is on their way.  They will probably want to come back at various points.  That should be made available or built in to the therapeutic agreement.  What should be noted is that the therapeutic intervention will make the person feel worse before they feel better.  If the client is stuck in Anger they will of course, still experience anger but also become increasingly depressed.  This is perfectly healthy and human. 

If you would like to make contact with a psychologist to discuss loss please contact Dan Petrov site manager who will refer you to a psychologist able to offer counseling in this area.