Dear L,

I think the best way to manage an autistic child is to find an intervention model and become immersed in the theory. You then need to apply the theory. At both stages but particularly at the application stage I think someone to bounce ideas off is vital. We call this consultation but basically it is just people with the same focus on a problem doing what people do best, communicating and being creative in response to a difficulty.

The approach that I have found to be useful with the higher functioning Autistic child is TEEACH. Yes it is spelt like that. It originates from the USA and there are lots of web sites and books. I suggest that you find a source of information that suits you both and study with your partner. Fire off a few mails to me if you want to, sometimes writing about things helps in understanding. It really is not a complex approach. But please remember what you will be doing is pruning away behaviors. It is an ongoing process but steady persistence is what special needs is about.

Once you have got a handle on the theory then I suggest you then try and apply it. You may find this e mail service useful when engaging in this stage. Do and review is the way forward.

If you want to really make things work well you will need to have a commonality of approach across all who care for the child. So this means that the school and the evening child minder will have to be trained. Probably by you once you have got the hang of it. In the UK this would be where the psychologist came in but I know things are organized differently in the USA.

What I have just described is a lot of work. But from the sound of your mail things lacked a focus and a lack of focus means that you are wasting your energy and creativity. Once you have a focus you will feel slowly more empowered and optimistic. The effort you put in now will be like an investment, it will pay you back handsomely in a very short time.

Once this is underway you then will need to begin implementing social skills and other programmes to teach the child the skills in a mechanical way that they will need as an adult. Again there are numerous books on this area. You can download free a social skills pack from the site.

www.educational-psychologist.co.uk/social.htm 

Best wishes

Tim Francis
Educational Psychologist
www.educational-psychologist.co.uk